While you were gone
by poetLaurie
Summary: After a several-year absence, Buzz reappears in Jessie's life. During that time, so much has changed; are they too great to bridge the distance?


Jessie tilted her head back, letting the late Spring sunlight warm her face. This had always been her favorite time of year, that cusp between the chill of winter and the blazing heat of summer. She smiled as she remembered how her father would tease her that she and Spring shared the same temperament, running hot and cold and full of tempest.

"Jessie?"

Her eyes flew open at the voice, still so familiar even after a long absence. She turned and saw Buzz standing just a few feet away. "Hey, Buzz," she smiled nervously.

"Wow, you look…great," he swallowed hard.

"Thanks, you do, too. Back on terra firma?"

He nodded, "Yes. You probably heard the news about my grandfather."

"Yes, Woody told me. I'm awfully sorry, Buzz."

"Thanks; I'm glad he's not suffering. It was a long road. Anyways," he cleared his throat, "he left me his house, so I've been getting settled there. I was just out for a walk when I saw you. How have-" His sentence was cut short by the school bell's ring and the cacophony of voices spilling out as the doors opened.

"Mommy!" a small red-haired child ran towards Jessie, jumping up into her arms.

She laughed, "There's my little buckaroo! How was school today?"

"It was fun!"

"Were you good for Miss Bonnie?"

"Yes; she let me be her special helper today!" The child noticed Buzz, who was watching with wide eyes.

Jessie followed his gaze and she licked her lips, "Jack, this is Mr. Buzz; Mommy and Uncle Woody's friend. Remember, Uncle Woody told you stories about him."

He nodded vigorously, "You're the spaceman!"

Buzz chuckled, "Yes, that's me, I guess. Nice to meet you, Jack."

"My daddy's a spaceman, too."

Jessie set him down on the sidewalk, "That's enough, Jack. We better get home; the horses are waiting for you." She glanced up at Buzz and saw the look on his face. "If you don't have any plans tonight, why don't you come over for dinner? If you remember how to get to the house."

"I remember. Dinner sounds great. What time?"

"Usually try to eat by six; Jack's got an eight o'clock bedtime. Why don't you come over about five?"

He nodded, his blue eyes lowering to meet the smaller pair gazing up at him. "Five o'clock it is. See you then."

* * *

There was a knock at the door and Jack ran down the stairs. "I'll get it, Mommy! HI!" he greeted Buzz exuberantly.

Buzz couldn't help but laugh. Jack was wearing a makeshift space helmet, a sheriff badge, and a cowboy holster. He gave the child a swift salute, "Greetings. What's, uh, what's going on here?"

"I'm a space cowboy. Moooom, Mr. Buzz is here!" he turned on his heel and ran back into the house.

"Yes, I know. Hi," she smiled at Buzz as she walked in from the kitchen. "Glad you came."

"Thanks for inviting me. Here," he handed her a bottle of wine, "I didn't know what to bring."

She took the bottle, "You didn't need to bring anything. But, thank you. I'll go get this in the fridge. Dinner'll be in about a half-an-hour."

"Mommy, can I take Mr. Buzz up to see my room?"

"Sure, honey. If you want to, I mean," she glanced at Buzz, "you don't have to."

"No, it's fine. Lead the way, sheriff." He followed Jack up the stairs, casting a quick backwards glance at Jessie. The boy's room was a modge-podge of space and cowboy décor and Buzz felt a bit dizzy as Jack attempted to show off every toy at lightning speed.

Jack held a toy rocket up to Buzz, "This is my rocket! It's how I get to space. Is it like your rocket?"

"Hmmm, a little," Buzz inspected the toy. "Looks like you have some cosmetic damage here," he moved one of the wings back and forth. "We better get this fixed before the next launch." He sat down amid Jack's figurines and together they began the repairs.

Jessie pulled the casserole dish from the oven and set it on the stove. She set the oven mitts on the counter and walked to the stairs. The sound of play drifted down from Jack's room and she paused, resting her hand on the banister. She laughed silently at the wild adventure, although her mirth was tempered with a twinge of sadness. "Hey, boys! Land that spaceship, 'cause dinner's ready! And Jack, wash your hands before you come down!"

"Okay, Mommy!"

Jessie had only been in the kitchen a few minutes before Buzz walked in, "Have fun up there?"

He laughed and rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, "Kid's got quite an imagination. He must get that from his mother."

"I s'ppose so," Jessie carefully avoided his gaze. "If you could grab the drinks, we're all set."

Dinner was a cheery affair, mostly due to Jack's never-ending litany of stories. When he had cleaned his plate, he looked at Jessie, "Mommy, can I go out and play? Please?"

She nodded with a tender smile, "Sure, sweetpea. Just stay away from the pasture, okay? And don't get too dirty, or you'll have to get a bath."

"I won't. You want to come?" he looked at Buzz with no small degree of adoration.

He shook his head, "Thanks, but I'm going to help your mommy with the dishes."

Jack shrugged, "Okay!" He jumped down from his chair and was out the door like a shot.

Jessie laughed, "He gets that from me, too."

Buzz stood and collected the dishes as Jessie picked up the now-empty casserole dish. "How old is Jack?"

"Just about five; and every inch of it. Some days I can barely keep up with that little bundle of energy."

"I bet. He reminds me a lot of myself when I was that age." He set the dishes in the sink and placed his hand gently on her upper arm, "Jessie…I have to ask. His father?"

She squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed hard. "I think you know," she whispered.

His hand dropped and he sucked in a stunned breath, "Me? But…when?"

"That last night we were together before you left…and we decided to go our separate ways?" She finally looked up at him, the look of shock and hurt on his face piercing her heart. "It wasn't until several weeks after that I found out I was pregnant."

"Why didn't you let me know?"

She turned away. "You were out of reach," she said flatly.

"You could have contacted me! You could have let me know that I was a… a father!"

Jessie whirled back to face him and threw her arms wide, "And what would you have done, Buzz? What could you have done? You weren't going to be able to be a part of his life, and I had no idea when you'd be back, if you ever _would_ be back."

Buzz rubbed his hand across his forehead, "I could have done something. At the very least, I would have been able to help you financially!"

"I didn't need your help, Buzz. And I didn't want you to feel obligated-"

"Not feel obligated?! Jessie, he's my son!"

She dropped her head and let silence fill the room. "I'm sorry, Buzz. Maybe I should have told you. But I didn't want you to only be a part of Jack's life if it was because you felt guilty." She raised her head, her green eyes wet with tears and her chin set, "I wasn't willing to do that to Jack, to fill his head with dreams of a dad who would never appear; or his heart with hopes for a life that might not happen. I'm still not."

Buzz looked out the window where he could see Jack playing in the yard. "Is there…I mean…" He turned his gaze back to Jessie, "Is there anyone else?"

"No. It's just the two of us; jus' Jack and me."

"Is there room for a third?" His blue eyes searched hers, "Jessie, I promise I'm not asking this out of guilt." He let out a rueful chuckle, "When I found out that I got my grandfather's house, the first thing I thought of was you and whether we could pick back up where we had left off. Seeing you yesterday, I thought there was nothing else I wanted. But finding out you – we have a son…" He took her hands in his, "I know it's been a long time, but I never stopped loving you, not for a minute."

Jessie bit her lip as she breathed out a happy sob, "D'ya mean it?"

"I would love nothing more than to be a part of Jack's life, and yours; if you'll have me."

"Oh, yes," she whispered. She impulsively threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. After a moment, her eyes widened and she pulled back, her cheeks flushing.

Buzz tucked his fingers under her jaw and drew her back to him, his mouth slanting gently against hers. When they separated, he pressed his forehead against hers, "Thank you."

She nudged her nose against his, "Come on, I think we should introduce you to your son."


End file.
